I was looking at the Los Angeles Angels of Satan's Less runs scored and more runs allowed than the A's. So I figured I'd take a look at who else is currently using voodoo to play close in 1 run games or many of the other 5,000 reasons the 2007 White Sox turned back into a pumpkin. (Division leaders in bold)


As you can clearly see, God's wrath against the Atlanta Braves is still intact. It's raining down foul balls into Chipper Jones' orbital bones. However, the Angels prove clearly that there is no God. The Angels are 13-8 in one run games, which should trail back to ~.500 eventually. The Mariners are 7-14 in one run games this year, after those moosefuckers got lucky to the tune of a +9 Pythagorean last year. One can only hope the hilariously same fate for the Angels. =)

Labels: IHateU, Los Angeles Angels, Oakland A's, Pythagorean Wins, YOU SONS OF BITCHES

As the five of you who probably read this might have figured out. I am an Oakland A's fan and the friendly guy who posts erotic fan fiction of Barry Bonds is a Giants fan. The Bay series starts tonight so I thought we could leave death threats to each other in this lovely entry. Bonds gets to play his natural DH position, so no one needs to wake grandpa up to take OF practice.

Don't forget 1989 bitch. Also we lead this little dance 29-27, and are 103-73 in interleague play

Friday Barry Zito vs. Chad Gaudin 10:05PM
Saturday Matt Cain vs. Dan Haren 9:05PM
Sunday Matt Morris vs. Joe Kennedy 4:05PM

San Fran Injuries:
Dave Roberts CF
Russ Ortiz Shitty Pitcher

Oakland Injuries:
H. Street RP
C. Snelling LF/RF
M. Piazza DH/C
B. Kielty RF/LF
R. Harden SP
E. Loaiza SP
C. Denorfia CF/RF
M. Kotsay CF

Labels: IHateU, Josh, Oakland A's, San Francisco Giants

The title has nothing to do with this, I just wanted to get some Iron
Maiden in this joint. Also, I'm wondering if the line fromBitchin Camero "Crystal Shit" was ever made into a band name for a Doors coverband. Anyways I hadn't brought too much of my A's fandom into this place yet. Lets check up on every one's favorite injured team with a mascot named STOMPY.

Ouch.
The latest casualty is Huston Street, which isn't so bad as the bullpen has been decent. Problem is Justin Duchscherer is his backup and having hip problems (HI MARK MULDER FANS!). Street is out at least the 15 days, Duchscherer is day to day. In other pitcher injuries Rich Harden continues to do his Kerry Wood impersonation, and Estaban Loaiza is at least sober on the 60 Day DL and not driving his Ferrari 120.

Hitter wise Mike Piazza is out 4-6 weeks when he sprained his shoulder sliding into third, which I would care more about had Jack Cust not gone super saiyan. Cust
strikes out a ton, but when everyone was freaking out about him 4 years
ago or so, I really wanted him. For some stupid reason National League
teams keptaquiring him. Tho I suppose 1b in Denver woulda been stupid silly had they ever let him hit. The outfield has been crossed up since Mark Kotsay
(His wife is hot) went on the 60 Day with back problems. Nick Swisher
and Milton Bradley have been splitting CF (If Bradley is healthy and
not on crazy juice any given day), which causes a rotation of First
base also with Dan Johnson and Swisher. Johnson is playing much better
than last year right now, and along withCust is hitting the upside of .400 the last few games. Bobby Kielty possibly died or was captured by aliens, I don't care. Jerk cost us Ted Lilly and could never beat out Jay Payton.

I'll finish the rest of the non injured folks later. Stupid real job.

~Mike

Labels: IHateU, Oakland A's

One important aspect of being a baseball fan is the realization that fans of other teams are stupid and misguided. While one could make a horrible joke about Cardinal’s pitchers and Denver Broncos’ life expectancies, I’ll go the nicer route. By nicer I mean talking about how stupid your GM’s are compared to mine. Also, I’m only making fun of the other writers for now so we can get a nice rivalry going and bicker, like people are supposed to do on the internet. Wait, isn’t the internet for porn? Oh well…

Cardinals:
Mulder Trade:
FROM A’s:
SP Mark Mulder (Despite the fact that his stats were dropping, and he was frequently injured in the last year on the A’s due to a fault in his mechanics, he had the most talent of any of the A’s vaunted “Big Three,” Cardinals fan’s might remember this SEE: Body explodes)
FROM Cardinals:
SP Dan Haren (Sweet, our opening day starter)
RP Kiko Calero (Awesome, set up man)
1b/c (He’s gonna be a DH) Daric Barton. (Your best prospect)

From A’s: (2002)
CL Jason Isringhausen
From Cardinals:
1st Round, 30th Pick (SP Ben Fritz) Up and down, dependant on if his arm explodes, Doing well in AA right now
1st Round, 39th Pick (Sandwich Pick) (3b Mark Teahen) Traded in Carlos Beltran deal 3 way for Octovial Dotel

Red Sox:
From A’s: (2004)
CL Keith Foulke (Uhm, yeah)
From Red Sox:
1st Round 24h Pick (Landon Powell C) Injured but has recovered, good prospect behind Suzaki who is in AAA right now. BY KENDALL *waves*
1st Round 36th Pick (Danny Putnam OF) Playing in the majors since the A’s OF is a Triage Unit.

From A’s: (2002)
CF Johnny Damon
From Red Sox:
1st Round 16th Pick (Nick Swisher RF/CF/LF/1B) How’s Coco Crisp working out? Oh, Sorry 
!st Round 37th Pick (Steve Obenchain SP) Ok he sucks, everyone gets one. Injured and possibly dead of a Crystal Meth Overdose.

Jay Payton OF, Traded for a broken Chad Bradford (Arm Explosion) when you pissed him off.

San Francisco
FROM A’s: (2003)
Ray Durham (Taken from White Sox GM Kenny Williams for shiny beads (Jon Adkins), played on the A’s for 3 months) Helped A’s get to playoffs.
FROM Giants:
1st Round, 26th pick in 2003 MLB Draft (Brian Snyder 3B) Now a second basemen, had a good first year in 04, struggled last two years and back up to AA this year.
1st Round 33rd pick (Sandwich pick) (2B/SS Omar Quintanilla) Traded with OF Eric Byrnes to Colorado in the 2005 Season for SP/RP Joe Kennedy, and RP Jay Witasick. The point of this trade being that Beane jumped the trade market by a month and took relievers off the market one month before the non-waiver trading deadline. (Both still on the A’s, Kennedy has started and been a reliever since, Witasick out of the bullpen)

I don't want to hear anything about some McGwire trade from the Cardinals, Beane wasn't incharge for that thing. Nor any Jimmy Foxx, Lefty Grove to the Sox, or the explosion of Charles Finley in the 70's. No one is allowed to mention the Tim Hudson trade either. Jerks.

Labels: Billy Beane, Boston Red Sox, Moneyball, Oakland A's, San Francisco Giants, St. Louis Cardinals, YOU GOT SERVED.